Thursday, February 19, 2009

She'll never truly understand

and I'm offended all over again. My mom is just so infuriating! She's hopeless when it comes to discussing options in regards to MY deafness. "You should consider ALL the options out there, not just one." Uh I have thank you very much, and it's still a NO on the hair cell thing. "You get that "being deaf has its perks" thing from Jo!" No I do not. I've discovered the "perks" ages ago. Jo just UNDERSTANDS where I come from and even agrees with me, whereas mom doesn't. Jo's been deaf all her life, so it's just a lot easier to talk to her about anything deaf, and with my mom it's just impossible. "I understand being hearing would be a lot to take in after years of deafness" uh exactly how would one who might have gone through the hair cell regeneration get a break from HEARING if they needed one? "See, with the implant like that lady on the HBO show, she took too many breaks and it didn't work for her!" Duh, not EVERYONE is going to be like her, everyone progress with the implants in their own way on their own time schedule. But breaks would still be necessary, to let the brain sort out what it just had to deal with. That's it, I'm done discussing ANYTHING with mom about this. All she does is just offend me (even though she doesn't mean to) and infuriate me, no matter what.

I even told her if there was absolutely no hope of having the left ear implanted, I would do the right ear "oh so you'd risk losing what hearing you have left?" Yes. If the implant can help me to hear better than the hearing aid, great. I'm perfectly aware of the risks. But with technology getting better, the losing whatever hearing is left risk is not as big as it used to be. I am willing to take that chance. "What if the implant doesn't work?" so be it. I'll deal with it. It'll be tough but I'll deal with it. Even the CI audie in Denver said there's a really good chance of the implant working for the right ear (not so sure of the left ear, when we did the hearing test it was absolutely 0 responses.. could be cause of ossification, who knows). I'd rather take the audie's word over my mom's on chances of it working. Something could always come up and something could go wrong, but I'm still willing to take that risk.

Mom says she has accepted my deafness and loves me for who i am and all that stuff, but it's just difficult when she points out all the stuff that I have already considered. What does she think I am, dumb? I've done my research, for YEARS. I've talked with various CI users, in person and online. I've questioned the CI audie in Denver from time to time to get answers. I've been doing all this since I was in high school when I first started exploring the cochlear implant option. I'm confident in going with the cochlear implant option. I just wish she would quit badgering me, and respect my decision.


JennyB said...

"that lady on the HBO show"...are you talking about "Hear and Now"?

She wears her implant consistantly now. Still signs, and is still part of the Deaf community. I don't know if this helps you with your mother or not...but she uses it now and even though she did take breaks she sees benefits now.

CDM said...

I just want my mom to quit basing her thoughts off the HBO documentary or whatever... The implant is going to be different for each and every person, but I don't think she really realizes that.

Dave said...

In 2007 I got Bacterial meninghitis. I went deaf. I was implanted with Advanced bionics in April of 2008, they saw some ossification, but were willing to give it a shot. I was activated on May 1st in 2008, and it is amazing. I had no, zero, zilch hearing after my illness.
Now I have wonderful comprehension and my life back.
Stay in touch

Dave said...

And by the way, my left side had a "smidgen" of hearing. Barely enough to register, but my right side had no sound at all.
they implanted my left.
Best shot they said.
It is amazing!!

K.L. said...

My daughter got meningitis as a baby. We had her left ear implanted right away because her right ear had already ossified. 10 years later we got her right ear implanted. They had to drill out a channel, and only got 8 electrodes out of 22 inserted. She is just starting to hear with it.

If one ear is not ossified, it is better to go with that one. They are real good at saving residual hearing these days, and the sound will be way better with a full insertion of the electrode array.

Good luck, and just ignore your mom. It is the only solution sometimes.